I made my dream house, but it was a complete nightmare.
I was living in a five-bedroom house, with a huge backyard and a massive garden in between.
The living room was just a tiny room.
I got used to it but I had no idea how to make it habitable, what to do with the furniture, how to cook.
My only option was to sleep in a car, and it was not a very good idea.
I needed a roof, so I went to a house that had one.
That house was not as big as mine but I could get a small room in the back.
But the house was just too big.
I spent a lot of money on rent and I had to make sure that I had enough money to live on.
Then, the day of my birth, the doctors came to check me out.
I had a baby and they said, “I don’t know how you can do this”.
I was very sad because I thought I had an amazing future.
But my husband was a doctor and he said, that I have a big problem with my cervix.
The doctors told me that I could have a surgery and get a very big scar, and that they would see about a year later.
I told them that I don’t want to have a baby.
The surgeon said, OK, I’ll try.
They put me on the operating table.
I don´t want to be a baby, I said.
And that was it.
They did a small operation, and they were shocked to see a big scar.
I wanted to cry.
I thought, “What is going on?
I was not going to have children”.
And the pain was still there.
They had to remove a lot.
The scar was big and red.
I didn´t know what to say.
It was a huge emotional pain.
But I kept on living.
I lived with my husband.
My dream house was complete.
I kept telling myself, this is a dream house.
I can do anything.
I became a teacher.
But all the time I was feeling that I needed help.
The first day of school I didn’t feel very good, and I didn`t know if I was a bad student.
I decided to go to a doctor.
The doctor told me, I am not the right person for you.
I asked him what he thinks about my problem.
He told me to have sex and to try to have another baby.
He said, I can see I am making a big mistake.
I wasn´t happy.
So, the next morning, I went back to my husband and told him what had happened.
And he was very happy about what had been done.
I just decided that I would not have kids.
I did not want to raise kids.
But at that time I did see some girls.
I started dating a girl who lived nearby, and after that I went out with her.
And I met a girl that I liked.
It all started to change.
My husband started to notice me.
He had the same problem, but now he felt comfortable.
He did not know why I was doing this.
He was a very normal guy.
I liked him, I liked my husband, I didn�t want him to go through the same thing.
I never did want to make a mistake like this again.
He also asked me if I could marry him.
I said, yes.
He started dating another girl, and he thought it would be a great idea to try having a child with her, so that they could have another child together.
They have been together for 10 years.
It has been a good experience.
My marriage is very good now.
We love each other and I am very happy.
And then, I started thinking, what if I had not had kids?
I didn t know what was going to happen.
What if my husband had an ulcer?
Or what if my daughter died?
I thought about it, and then I decided that this is not going away.
But in the next year, I had another ulcer.
My doctor said, do you think it is normal?
I said that I am sure that it will be normal, and maybe it will not hurt.
Then a few weeks later, a big operation.
I am happy that I can go back to work, and even more happy that my husband is happy too.
I love him very much.
I feel very safe now.
I do not have to worry about my body, my friends, my house, or my life.
I still have a dream, that my daughter will be happy.
We have had many dreams.
My dreams have changed.
But what has happened has changed me.
I know that there is no future for me.
And now, I want to go back.